#OutToLunch The future of work – salon masseuse

#OutToLunch The future of work – salon masseuse

By Denis Jjuuko

The male salon business has evolved especially in urban centres. Although salons always existed at least in Kampala, they were for the rich and upper class. Some mothers owned a pair of scissors and did the job at home to mainly their children. As children grew, the mothers relegated the job to the children to cut each other’s hair.

The men who couldn’t afford a proper salon always visited some barber under a mango tree who had a manual hair clipper and one would pray, the graduated tax collector didn’t show up in the middle of the haircut. Many men were left with hair half done, the barber preferring to run whenever the graduated tax collector showed up. Rain was another problem but at least, unlike today, that was predictable.

With improvements in technology, modern salons started being set up with electric hair clippers, fancy chairs, and warm water to wash the head after a hair cut. Some new ‘innovation’ is now taking place in Kampala’s salons for men.

After most likely a male barber has cut your hair, he beckons you to a tub where a mostly stunningly beautiful young woman would wash your head after which they would smear some oil and other stuff all over your face and neck and sometimes chest. If you are wearing a short-sleeved shirt, your arms may also not be spared. If you go for a pedicure, the thighs will also be smeared. They will proceed to give you what they call a massage, which though most times is just touching. I am told some weak men moan as a result of some form of pleasure out of this exercise but I am yet to confirm this.

A friend who set up a salon recently about 20km out of Kampala’s central business district hired one of these ‘masseuses’ from the city. Her customers who are mainly male have since followed her — they drive 20km to have her delicate fingers all over their necks, shoulders and I think chests.

In some salons, they first request whether they give you the ‘massage’ or they simply apply after-shave gels. In other salons, you simply realize you are being ‘massaged’ and your head being almost touched by some breasts made obviously bigger by some push-up bras. All this is done in the name of providing an unforgettable customer experience. Whereas it used to take men about 30 minutes in a salon, these days it could take upwards of two hours!

This reminds me of a newspaper article I read sometime back written by a popular Kampala physician whose leg was amputated after undergoing a massage by an unqualified masseuse. The masseuse touched veins she wasn’t meant to leading to an illness. The physician traveled to India and returned without one of his legs. Are the salon masseuses qualified to turn around our necks or we may end up with all sorts of illnesses?

Since I am told men enjoy these salon ‘massages’, there is need to ensure that the ‘masseuses’ offering them aren’t just beautiful women rather qualified ones to offer the service. They should have a certificate from an accredited institution to offer such training.

So since salon massaging is becoming increasingly popular, this could be the future of work for a lot of our unemployed people. The home salon is long dead especially in urban areas and salons are opened up almost every day. As Kampala expands, there will be need for more salons in the new upcoming residential areas for the middle class.

The service fake masseuses are offering in salons is a technical one which like we saw with the physician could lead to severe health consequences. A new profession has already been started without albeit the necessary qualification. If we can work on regulation as a country, there will be need for qualified people to work as salon masseuses.

Also professionalizing this ‘profession’ will ensure that the salon masseuses aren’t offering something close to one sided foreplay and remain within what is acceptable in a public place. Customers will appreciate a professional touch as well because massages which are properly done have some health benefits. So if you are looking for a career, this is something you may think of.

The writer is a Communication and Visibility Consultant. djjuuko@gmail.com

Tags: Denis Jjuuko, Out to Lunch, Prime Time Communications, salon masseuse

Out to Lunch

#OutToLunch: Hoima City Stadium provides a blueprint for Uganda’s infrastructural development

OutToLunch: Hoima City Stadium provides a blueprint for Uganda’s infrastructural development By Denis Jjuuko Ugandans may be consumed with what is taking place at the Mandela National Stadium at Namboole where Uganda is hosting some continental matches alongside their Pamoja partners Kenya and Tanzania. The three East African countries are jointly hosting the African Nations Championship (Chan), the precursor to Africa Nations Cup (Afcon), the continental soccer showpiece, which will take place in 2027. Hosting Afcon has always been largely the privilege of west and north African countries. This is the first time that East Africa will be hosting the soccer extravaganza. To do so, there was a need for stadiums and other infrastructure that meet the continental or even international standards. Namboole has been upgraded hence the ongoing Chan tournament. But what is also catching many people’s attention off the refurbished Namboole pitch is something that is taking place some 210km away in the oil rich city of Hoima. When Uganda was awarded the co-hosting rights of Afcon, many people wondered where would the tournament be held. Only Namboole had a chance of meeting the requirements albeit with some major modifications. New stadiums had to be built. Ugandans laughed hard and memes started flying on social media. Not because they are unpatriotic as some people quickly label those with divergent views. They had seen a project too many that couldn’t get done on time. They saw Uganda spending many decades constructing the 21km Northern Bypass that by the time it was completed, some cheeky people had started calling it a Bypath. They had heard endless stories about many infrastructure projects. The Jinja-Kampala Expressway, the Mpigi-Kampala Expressway and even easy to do small-small projects like Kyaliwajjala-Matugga road take forever to be done. They had become skeptical given the years it has taken Lubowa Specialized Hospital to get the building beyond the plinth wall. Airport terminal buildings? Another day please. They expected Hoima City Stadium to follow a similar path. Perhaps, because this involves some continental body in the Confederation of African Football (CAF), organisers of Afcon, the country finally awarded a contract to somebody who seems to know what they are doing in SUMMA, a Turkish outfit that has built a reputation for building stadiums in Africa and handing them over in time. What they have done since construction commenced in Hoima in September 2024 is sort of a miracle by Ugandan standards. With a budget of US$129m and constructing a 20,000-seat stadium, they have shown that a project can be worked on as scheduled. And I say this well knowing that they haven’t completed the job. Given the progress that they have made, there is no doubt that they won’t complete the job ahead of schedule. The Hoima City Stadium contractor is perhaps new in Uganda and hasn’t caught the usual bug. They have not blamed the rains like most contractors do. They have not said they can’t get materials because of the war in the Middle East or Ukraine. They haven’t blamed forex fluctuations. They haven’t blamed the invisible Powers from Above. They haven’t claimed local politicians are against the project. They have said nothing about witchcraft. They have not said Ugandans are lazy, don’t want to work and report for work while clutching sachets of illicit beverages. They have not said they can’t work at night. They have not said there is no budget or some release from the Ministry of Finance delayed. They have not appeared at any parliamentary committee to beg for this or that. Nobody has seen a letter from them asking the president for this or the other. They have simply gone on with the assignment. They have shown that Rome can be built in one day if we focused on it. That government infrastructural projects can be started and worked on as scheduled. And since we love benchmarking, the SUMMA project manager, once has finished their assignment, maybe should go on a workshop spree, teaching our contractors and their supervisors that projects today shouldn’t take as much time as building St Peter’s Basilica or the Notre Dame. And it isn’t difficult to complete projects on time. If you see an official whose desk is full of files, don’t then make him the project manager. If he can’t read the files on his desk on time, how would he manage a project that needs to be delivered on time? If money isn’t available, then don’t embark on launching the project. And hire a competent contractor. Hoima City Stadium is providing a blueprint we must all embrace. The writer is a communication and visibility consultant. djjuuko@gmail.com

August 20, 2025

Out to Lunch

#OutToLunch: Subdividing land failed homeowners, time to flip that real estate model

By Denis Jjuuko A few years ago, a friend was ecstatic. Finally, after years of toiling, working at his day job and some side hustles, he had managed to buy land somewhere in greater Kampala in one of those sprawling so-called estates where Kampala businessmen buy land and subdivide it into small plots each measuring about an eighth of an acre. It didn’t take him long before he started building one of those common three-bedroom houses with high pitched roofs. Once it was to an extent complete, he moved in after throwing a house warming party for a few friends and relatives. He considered himself middle class and liked his neighborhood. The estate in which he bought land had many undeveloped plots and every time somebody came to build, he was super excited. Soon the estate would be full of houses and therefore a little bit more secure. His property value would go up in case he wanted to sell or borrow. Then we realized he no longer talked about his house and neighborhood. We thought after living there for years, he had overgrown the excitement of being a homeowner. Maybe he had started thinking about other stuff. It is a normal thing. Then he started talking negatively about his neighborhood. The estate that drove up his adrenaline was now a source of sorrow. He was thinking of relocating. He said the estate was no longer middle class. Some of us wanted to tell him that it wasn’t middle class from the beginning but age teaches you mellowness. Anyway, each person had built whatever pleased them. A storied house there, shops on the corner plot where men first stopped for a beer before proceeding to their homes every day, an apartment block here, a nursery school there, a Pentecostal church in one corner, a charcoal seller at the top of the street, a chapatti guy next door. A guy who had bought eight plots, making about an acre, had decided to plant eucalyptus trees. Another was planning some mattooke. An “investor” had decided that the estate needed an artificial grass surface in one corner where the so-called middle class could play soccer till 10.00pm or midnight, after all, he had installed the most luminous flood lights he could find on the market. My friend’s most immediate neighbor had probably listened to many inspirational speakers and decided to build a chicken coop. He heard that the poultry keeper’s grand plan included ducks, goose and even turkeys. The chicken woke him up every 3.00am or some other time in the night. The stench from the chicken coop made sure he abandons his garden, where he used to sit on weekends with one hand holding a champagne glass and another a book. And there were still many empty plots. He didn’t know whether someone could be planning a kraal or a pigsty or a brothel. He had tried involving the local leadership but there wasn’t much help. Some of his neighbours didn’t see a problem with anyone keep some chicken. In fact, they were being praised on the neighborhood WhatsApp group for their entrepreneurial ability. Many neighborhoods in Kampala are not different. In fact, a few months ago, somebody had built a kraal in Kololo. Yes, in Kololo, Kampala’s most exclusive suburb. But the neighbors there are “deep waters” so they stopped his entrepreneurship adventure. My friend is now looking for a buyer so he could sell and go to some of those housing estates by the likes of NSSF, Mirembe Villas and Royal Palm. He had always said they were expensive and criticized them for building for “non-Ugandans” but he now agrees that there, it will be hard for somebody to practice their poultry business at home. There is some orderliness. Nobody wakes up to do what pleases them. Since Ugandans love investing in land or real estate, this could be a model that people can try especially those with some capital but for not high-end clients. I know that Buganda Kingdom and NSSF are building such estates in Ssentema but they are very few units. National Housing has land in Bukerere and NSSF in Nsimbe. These among other estates could help take away people’s misery if built affordably and provide significant returns on investment. The writer is a communication and visibility consultant. djjuuko@gmail.com

August 14, 2025

Out to Lunch

#OutToLunch: It is our turn to eat, the politicians have eaten enough

By Denis Jjuuko After nearly five years of planning, positioning, and scheming, it is time for implementation of strategies that could lead many people to their coveted offices. For some, the first hurdle is to convince their parties that they are qualified to stand for election in the primaries to represent them. To others, it is to decide whether to stand as independents and in which particular constituency. The political fever is rising across the country. At funerals, weddings, sports, religious and cultural events, candidates are aligning themselves sometimes with causes they don’t believe in while many times mudslinging others. Resources are not being spared. Unfortunately, human beings are not being spared too. Ssembabule seems to be an epicenter of violence. An incumbent even threw in the towel claiming the violence is too much. Before the ink on her words dried, a youth was shot dead! It is going to be long eight months or so. Just like it was in 2021 and in many general elections before. Usually, the news that comes out is of violence and tension leading to many people to fear. Internet is usually cut off at some stage. Some radio stations also get blocked. Tear gas becomes part of the oxygen people breathe in. But should politics be like that? Over the last few years, it has become a job. An assurance for many of those who win to earn significantly over a five-year period especially for those at the top end of politics—those who end up as Members of Parliament. They are not only paid well; the president usually appoints a significant number of them into his cabinet—an opportunity to earn even better. Maybe that is the reason it is a do or die for many candidates like we have witnessed so far in Ssembabule. Of course, many of those who stand for office won’t be elected and even many incumbents won’t win their positions back. Ugandan politics below the presidency tends to give an opportunity to a lot of new comers. They call it a ‘turn for someone else to eat.’ Issues are less discussed on what can really transform a country yet that is where we need to go. The country cannot develop if we are voting people because it is a “turn for someone else to eat.” That way you send people to elective offices who stand for nothing and therefore go wherever the wind blows. That way the country remains poor because politics is a core component of economic development. People who have no values won’t fight for anything that affects the poor. They will only be concerned about themselves and their immediate families. A few millions in their pocket, and they pass laws that lead the country to nowhere. Corruption becomes their middle name and scheming the religion they believe in. Yet the issues that affect all of us affect them too. If the road to a Kampala suburb is potholed everywhere, a politician who steals money to build a residence or rental apartments or a hotel will suffer too. He may have a government Landcruiser but for how long? His tenants or patrons could shun the apartments or the hotel because of inaccessibility. The building may end up as a white elephant. And if he is voted out, he may not have the resources to renovate it. When there are no doctors and drugs in health facilities, the politician may not have enough time to be flown to Uganda’s referral hospitals for the rich in Nairobi or New Dehli. At the end of the day, stolen money at the expense of public services won’t be able to save him. As we spend more and more time on radio and television talkshows and watching TikTok clips on a loop of politicians, we need to put them to task on what they tend to do. Particularly, how are they going to enable young people find meaningful jobs or any job at all? How are they going to help the elderly live decent lives? What is their plan on education, health, transport, and agriculture among other key sectors? Also, there is a need for civic education so that our people understand that the best thing for them is not to be given a t-shirt or a piece of soap or even a hoe, rather to have something that they do that can enable them buy such stuff on their own. It is time for the population to eat. The politicians have eaten enough. The writer is a communication and visibility consultant. djjuuko@gmail.com

July 16, 2025